DROP FUNCTION IF EXISTS `strip_accents`;
DELIMITER $$
CREATE FUNCTION `strip_accents`(bubba VARCHAR(240)) RETURNS varchar(240) CHARSET utf8
    DETERMINISTIC
BEGIN
  DECLARE clean_string VARCHAR(240);
  SET clean_string = REPLACE(bubba, 0xC384, 'A');
  SET clean_string = REPLACE(clean_string, 'test', 'BUG');
  RETURN clean_string;
END
$$